i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
