I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
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