yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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