Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
3 2 1 whiskey
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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