you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
