my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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