Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
