Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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