lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
stop calling my apartment porn island.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
