I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
she looked like the before picture.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
