I wish I could punch you in the face.
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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