O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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