I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
