FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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