peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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