when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
