I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize
