Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Randomize
