Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
