Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
