Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
