'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
