my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
