There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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