You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
