Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
