i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
It's shark week go big or go home
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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