Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
