Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Randomize