My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
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