Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize