I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize