I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Randomize
