it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
