i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
