her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
