Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
