Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
