my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
