You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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