Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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