i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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