There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
