So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I deserve this hangover.
Panties = found
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize