Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
be right there i have to get my cape
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
