New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
