so explain again why im purple
no
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
