i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize