just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
