You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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