let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Green mimosas i think yes
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
