the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I could fuck to npr.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
