Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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