me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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