gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
And then my night got REAL pukey
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize