Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
