I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
