dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
