This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
