I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
